Why Caving Is Like Sex...

 

  1. Both involve fumbling round in the dark
  2. You don’t know where to put your hands
  3. You're always finding new positions
  4. The first time is always the most painful
  5. You can’t do either by yourself
  6. The possibilities are endless with a harness and a bit of rope
  7. Both can involve a fondness for rubber
  8. Both can result in soiled underwear
  9. If you’re having trouble getting up an extra person can help
  10. If you have trouble getting down you’re not going to get anywhere
  11. Both can involve sore knees
  12. Naked, sweaty and smelly. But enough about me...
 

Why caving is not like sex...

 

  1. Your mum can’t bring you cups of tea while you’re caving
  2. It can last eight hours
  3. The wetter it is the worse it gets
  4. The smaller you are the easier it is

 

Disclaimer: Widgetworld have been asked to point out that this site is in no way affiliated to the Reading University Caving Club (RUCC). John's thoughts, opinions and sense of style are his own and do not reflect those of the wider RUCC membership, who are made up of chaste young sporting types dedicated to the sport of caving in its purest form. Although John is a registered member of RUCC the RU Cavers website does not condone, recognise, support or encourage views expressed on this site and would probably feel inclined to cross the road if it saw them coming.

Next week: Nikki's Nik Naks.

 

An occasional series of articles rummaging around the contents of John's brain....

Number 1 of er, 1